I love Paris. Fact. So whenever the opportunity to take a sneaky trip arrives, I'm there with Gallic stripes on. Last week, I had the jammy luck of attending the launch Karl Lagerfeld's limited edition Diet Coke bottles a party atop the George Pompidou Centre.
I promised I would behave: not jump the barriers, goose his bodyguards, tug at his ponytail, steal his Mantilla fan, request a free Chanel 2.55 bag. This was a big ask, in particular since I was only gagging to get the skinny (no pun intended) on how he allegedly lost ninety pounds on a regime of Diet Coke and steamed veggies; not to mention his random tweets, that cameo in Zoolander and rumours about him being cryogenically frozen. I had a lot to say but I would remain shtum. Discretion thy name is…
That being said, I somehow managed to finagle my 6 foot 4 frame (Miu Miu heels) to the front of the photographer’s pen to acquire some intel: not to mention snag a few nifty iPhone snaps of the Kaiser and a subsequent earful of vitriol from several (not so tall) French shutterbugs.
Here are the findings from the Irish jury. He’s pocket-sized; we’re talking portable here. Model Lily Cole had to remove her heels so as not to completely dwarf him in press shots…and she still did. His Diet Coke butler was on call – the legendary aide who serves him said libation in a Lalique crystal goblet. I was impressed. This is how he rolls; the rest of us go to Centra.
The presence of a threadbare hair bobble around his white ponytail did throw me off (er, head of a $10 billion Chanel empire?) but perhaps that was a mere ruse; much like his male model security detail (swoon!) and the bevy of bespectacled clones (Klones?) dispatched amongst the crowd. Clever trick there Mr. L. Clever indeed.
Alas, I remain none the wiser about the enigmatic Kaiser but I do know that Karl’s three new 'Love it Light' Diet Coke bottles (featuring polka dots and chevron stripes against his ponytailed silhouette) will be available in prism-shaped collector’s boxes this June. In words of the man himself, “Luxury is the income tax of vanity. But it is so pleasant.” Karl Lagerfeld. He’s got some bottle.
